Heart Openers

So this year seems to be a year of taking a risk, opening your heart or going forward on the path that is the road less traveled.  I somehow know a handful of women who have taken a leap of faith.  I feel like this is all around me for a reason.  Maybe the universe has been trying to show me I can do hard things.  I can be brave.  I can be vulnerable.

This word vulnerable keeps popping up.  In my yoga class, in my Instagram feed and even in my Audible book recommendations.  I know that there are authors, therapists and motivational speakers who are much more knowledgeable and well versed in the idea of being vulnerable, so who am I to even try to throw my thoughts or opinions out there….but isn’t that sort of the point.  I am here just as much as anyone doing my best to be the best version of myself.

I can totally say that even typing the word vulnerable seems like an icky word…there are many words I think roll off the tongue that should never, but this one makes me uncomfortable and I think there in lies the work I need to be doing. Opening myself up more.

I am super good at being funny…deflecting and being busy! I take personal satisfaction in knowing I can juggle all the balls, but I think that it isn’t enough. I can be a good mom, good teacher, wife, sister and friend but I think I need to be good to my self.  I need to take some time to work on things I avoid.  Are there things you internally avoid?  I think it is super easy to push forward and muffle that little voice telling me I need more.  More from myself.

This past week has shown me that I can’t.  I can’t keep going through the motions.  I need to stop and recognize I need more things that make me happy.  I can do more….and not more chores (hahhaaha).  The dust can wait.

These women I know have been an awesome wake up call.  They have started new businesses, planned and raised money for charity, decided to leave jobs, gone back to school and started new projects.  They have all said yes to that little voice that was saying this is a good idea….you can do scary things….you can put yourself out there….take the risk.  Have you taken any new risks?

I took a baby step this year and decided to open my tpt store and go to the regional conference.  It was an extraordinary experience.  I came away inspired by women who have a wealth of knowledge and more importantly-support. They were all so encouraging and were open to share their knowledge and experiences. It was sort of a weird experience for me….foreign.  I feel like in education there are the people who share and lift you up or there are the people who are passive aggressive and competitive.  I thankfully was surrounded by givers.  I came away from that weekend feeling like I could do something new, try my hand at something I never thought I could do and take a risk……wallah….my blog.

There was a teacher, at the conference, who blogs and she was encouraging me to put my voice out there.  She felt I had something to share with other teachers. I thought it was kinda crazy….me telling others what to do or share my ideas. Who am I??  What do I know??  Can I do this?  Will I be good at it?  Who wants to read what I have to say?  I was telling myself the same story I have probably told myself before, about other things I thought were too much, scary or uncomfortable.  Something happened.  I decided to listen to the voices of support and the little one inside me saying “do it”.  I went home and developed my page.  I took a risk.  I think for a first timer it looks good.  I am sure it will evolve…it has to, because I sort of look at it as an extension of me and I have no plans of staying in the same place.

I originally intended it to only have content for teaching, teachers & itinerants, but I feel like this is evolving into something more.  Maybe because things are aligning???  I am being open to the idea that I can share whatever I want.  I know many bloggers have a specific direction.

I am still deciding what that is.  I am trying to look and listen in the still moments for signs that I am doing the right thing.  I am being open to new possibilities.  I am being positive and hopefully sharing my light with others.

So, I guess it is good my school year is coming to a close.  I am looking forward to what summer will bring. It will be nice to focus on the good vibes I am feeling around me and hopefully I can lift others around me….embrace this new level of vulnerability.

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